Because it's happened to me I know it's happened to you. How? Because we are all connected. That's why nurses and doctors listen to you when your not well. That's why families gather around when your not well. That's why we are sad when someone we love is not well. That's why we get fearful when a Hurricane threatens our safety or a diagnosis threatens our wellbeing. It matters that we are okay.
Struggling with life and not feeling well can leave you disconnected because what's happening to you is scary. When I learned of my heart condition, I was overwhelmed with a grief that consumed my being and I thought of nothing more. The disconnect threatened my sanity. I isolated and there was no one else that mattered. I became a victim of my diagnosis.
Your diagnosis may be terminal or benign, you may or may not have pain, you may or may not have ability. But, unless you have amnesia, you do have the ability to remember what matters. And, that is that we are all connected. You need only to remember.
Just think about the School Bus Driver who drives the kids to school, the Policeman who helps keep us safe, the Shopkeeper who sells the products we need, the Pharmacist, the Doctor, the Nurse, the Teacher, the Psychologist, the Trucker, the Garbage man, the Coach and the whole gamut of people who keep us connected. We all need each other and what one doesn't need today, they will eventually need one day.
In my darkest hours what mattered was that knock on the door when someone came to visit, that phone call asking how I was, the nurse who attended to me and the doctor who spoke of plans to heal me. What mattered was the looks of concern and caring. I recognized that no one, no matter who they were, wanted me to be sick. And, to you who are suffering, there is no one who wants you to be ill.
So, think about everything that matters to you and share that here so it may remind someone else who matters...
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
How do you deal with your pain?
In an effort to live the best life possible with a medical condition that is a source of pain, I found it necessary to 'outwit' my pain. I know people do this on a daily basis by finding ways to alleviate their discomfort.
Of course, consistency and a regular schedule minimize the degree to which pain accumulates. We all know that taking medications as prescribed, eating right, exercising, and getting a good nights rest will make one feel better, but, the truth is its not that simple. There are too many factors that interfere. Often, it's the pain that causes us to stray off a healthy regimen. And, too often, it's the actual pain medication that adds a layer of additional misery.
Since my transplant in 1999, I discovered ways to be manage my discomfort by keeping records, researching the topic, and challenging myself. My pain is now minimal because of time and how I outwit it on a daily basis. 1.) When I first wake in the morning, while lying in bed, I cover my eyes with the palm of my hands and slowly massage my head with my fingers for about a 2 minutes(I learned about this from a guest on the Dr. Oz show).; 2.) I tell myself that I am about to embark upon a spectacular day filled with learning and adventure in an effort to create a mindset for the day(this creative visualization varies on a day to day basis).; 3.) I do some stretches by stretching my legs from side to side, etc.(be aware that any stretches you try should be performed appropriate with your diagnosis and ability).; 4.) I dismiss any thought of pain and continually reinforce that with affirmative sentences like: "I am healthy, whole, and complete."; 5.) Throughout the day, I use cues to alert me of an onset of pain. Cues are individual and require action after becoming cognizant of them. Intertwined with cues I utilize self talk which is effective in confronting the pain and making it manageable.; And, 6.) Stay active with goal setting, interactions with family, friends, and a coach to help alleviate the emotional effect that pain has.
Please share any ideas you may have to overcome pain in your life. Your words can be transforming to others.
Do tell...
Of course, consistency and a regular schedule minimize the degree to which pain accumulates. We all know that taking medications as prescribed, eating right, exercising, and getting a good nights rest will make one feel better, but, the truth is its not that simple. There are too many factors that interfere. Often, it's the pain that causes us to stray off a healthy regimen. And, too often, it's the actual pain medication that adds a layer of additional misery.
Since my transplant in 1999, I discovered ways to be manage my discomfort by keeping records, researching the topic, and challenging myself. My pain is now minimal because of time and how I outwit it on a daily basis. 1.) When I first wake in the morning, while lying in bed, I cover my eyes with the palm of my hands and slowly massage my head with my fingers for about a 2 minutes(I learned about this from a guest on the Dr. Oz show).; 2.) I tell myself that I am about to embark upon a spectacular day filled with learning and adventure in an effort to create a mindset for the day(this creative visualization varies on a day to day basis).; 3.) I do some stretches by stretching my legs from side to side, etc.(be aware that any stretches you try should be performed appropriate with your diagnosis and ability).; 4.) I dismiss any thought of pain and continually reinforce that with affirmative sentences like: "I am healthy, whole, and complete."; 5.) Throughout the day, I use cues to alert me of an onset of pain. Cues are individual and require action after becoming cognizant of them. Intertwined with cues I utilize self talk which is effective in confronting the pain and making it manageable.; And, 6.) Stay active with goal setting, interactions with family, friends, and a coach to help alleviate the emotional effect that pain has.
Please share any ideas you may have to overcome pain in your life. Your words can be transforming to others.
Do tell...
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Dealing with fear--what can we do?
Lately I've become aware of some underlying fears that are dominating my movements. I've known about these fears and have chosen to ignore them because to face them, well, then, I would have to be proactive and do something about them. Does that sound like you?
For me, I know it's time to have a look at my fears and see what can be done. In a way, doing nothing keeps me in this little sphere where I can be negative, lazy, fearsome, and changeless. A favorite excuse has been my transplant and the side effects of my medication that cause my anemia, bone loss, and digestion issues. These issues, like for many of you, are a daily occurrence for me and require a lot of energy to contend with.
'Fear' leaves us all paralyzed, and, for some odd reason, comfortable in such an ungodly place. And, while in that place, we spread our fear to our family, our friends, our neighbors, our community, and to everyone we meet. The next thing you know everybody is shifty eyed, anxious, afraid to express themselves, awkward in manner, and exhausted. I've recognized the need to express myself through thoughtful communication, confidence, eye contact, and with positive clarity. Couldn't we all benefit from that?
So what can we do? I decided to try a strategy that has worked for me in the past and I invite you to see if it will provide any benefit for you. To begin, I start by identifying each fear, becoming clear on why I have the fear, weighing the options I have to dispel the fear, and considering the consequences of any actions I may have to take. I spend time gathering information and becoming informed. Then, I talk with my coach and others about replacing my fear with something positive, workable, life-enhancing, and responsible. Then I take action and make a change.
With the process outlined above in mind, I hope dispel three of the fears that are prevalent in my life right now. I believe this is one way to try and I ask that you share what works for you.
Do tell....
For me, I know it's time to have a look at my fears and see what can be done. In a way, doing nothing keeps me in this little sphere where I can be negative, lazy, fearsome, and changeless. A favorite excuse has been my transplant and the side effects of my medication that cause my anemia, bone loss, and digestion issues. These issues, like for many of you, are a daily occurrence for me and require a lot of energy to contend with.
'Fear' leaves us all paralyzed, and, for some odd reason, comfortable in such an ungodly place. And, while in that place, we spread our fear to our family, our friends, our neighbors, our community, and to everyone we meet. The next thing you know everybody is shifty eyed, anxious, afraid to express themselves, awkward in manner, and exhausted. I've recognized the need to express myself through thoughtful communication, confidence, eye contact, and with positive clarity. Couldn't we all benefit from that?
So what can we do? I decided to try a strategy that has worked for me in the past and I invite you to see if it will provide any benefit for you. To begin, I start by identifying each fear, becoming clear on why I have the fear, weighing the options I have to dispel the fear, and considering the consequences of any actions I may have to take. I spend time gathering information and becoming informed. Then, I talk with my coach and others about replacing my fear with something positive, workable, life-enhancing, and responsible. Then I take action and make a change.
With the process outlined above in mind, I hope dispel three of the fears that are prevalent in my life right now. I believe this is one way to try and I ask that you share what works for you.
Do tell....
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Are you having issues posting your thoughts on my blog?
I am aware that some of you are having difficulties joining and posting on my blog. We are working to make it easier for you to access it. Please email me at mwuyak@gmail.com with any issues you are having so we can address them. Thank you .
Monday, August 1, 2011
How do you cope with your circumstances?
This week my goal is discover how we, meaning everyone who comes to this site, can overcome the difficulties prevalent in life with grace and style while discovering within- that untapped source of strength and forbearance from which to call upon.
I have spent the last 11 plus years navigating through the results of a heart transplant trying to comprehend the hows and whys. On a daily basis, like me, people are dealing with issues that leave them shaken and lost. You wake in the morning with no hope, purpose eludes you, and in pain from not feeling well, what are you to do? Or, maybe you care for someone who feels this way, how do you cope? With this bitter knowledge, you are still cognizant enough to understand that you are alive and have to function. Herein lies the challenge--the call for answers--the call for strength...
"How do we cope when it all seems pointless, too much, hopeless?"
The question consumed me for years and even now resurfaces only to remind me that I am still here, still breathing and still functioning. It took some time, but, one day a shift came. I decided to look at my circumstances as a challenge. I decided to accept the challenge and endeavor to find answers. I pretended I was watching a movie in which I was the primary focus. I had to write the script as I went. I became fervent and focused with my mission. As the forces of discomfort, medication, and disability tugged at me--I became fierce and loyal to myself and my goal. I found a reservoir of ability within and discovered its depth. And, when it didn't seem deep enough, I knew enough to pray. With pray, once again, awareness came.
Now, in my journey, there is only growth.
How about you, do tell....
I have spent the last 11 plus years navigating through the results of a heart transplant trying to comprehend the hows and whys. On a daily basis, like me, people are dealing with issues that leave them shaken and lost. You wake in the morning with no hope, purpose eludes you, and in pain from not feeling well, what are you to do? Or, maybe you care for someone who feels this way, how do you cope? With this bitter knowledge, you are still cognizant enough to understand that you are alive and have to function. Herein lies the challenge--the call for answers--the call for strength...
"How do we cope when it all seems pointless, too much, hopeless?"
The question consumed me for years and even now resurfaces only to remind me that I am still here, still breathing and still functioning. It took some time, but, one day a shift came. I decided to look at my circumstances as a challenge. I decided to accept the challenge and endeavor to find answers. I pretended I was watching a movie in which I was the primary focus. I had to write the script as I went. I became fervent and focused with my mission. As the forces of discomfort, medication, and disability tugged at me--I became fierce and loyal to myself and my goal. I found a reservoir of ability within and discovered its depth. And, when it didn't seem deep enough, I knew enough to pray. With pray, once again, awareness came.
Now, in my journey, there is only growth.
How about you, do tell....
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