Pretending

I remember those days of healing after my heart transplant, and how very hard they were. There was pain, loneliness, questions, confusion, anxiety, and a whole host of other dilemmas that constituted the days and nights of my life.  No one could be with me 24 hours a day to share in all of it. And, that was a good thing because it gave me the space for learning coping skills. There is power in loneliness. Although that may not be the truest statement, I pretended it was. To combat my pain, I pretended it didn't exist. I called it's persistence an annoyance and created visions of comfort, relaxation, and calm. I pretended I was bigger than it and that it had no power over me.  When the haze of confusion set in, culminating in anxiety because of it's distortions, I said a few mantras, like: "God willing and me trying---I will get through this." And, "I am in charge of how I think---confusion has no power over me!"  The other dilemmas, many of a personal nature, were chances for me to review my life, all the mistakes, heartbreaks, and wins. Once they were put into perspective, a wiser perspective prevailed.

What's my point? I think you know--the power of pretending. It sure does come in handy. You can be anything you want to be when you pretend.  When you pretend your okay--you are. When you pretend your happy--you are. When you pretend your beautiful -- you are. When you pretend your well-- you are.

As you start the week, think about the power of pretending. Talk to your coach about it. Decide to pretend. Have some fun with it. Make it work for you.

Are you pretending?

Is it a change in the weather?

Out of sorts, not feeling well, foggy--all symptoms of the change in the weather. Your either coming down with something or your immune system is combating some bug that has already arrived. Add this to a condition already present, and the effect is magnified. Who are you in this?

Looking at your symptoms and how they are affecting you says something about who you are and who you will be in the future. A symptom may be reflective of more than one thing or event. Maybe your being called to address something. Illness is an interesting thing. It will sometimes manifest as a result of something within. To delve into it is to better understand yourself. For, you may discover the answer to the question, what is the actual cause?

Sometimes it's easier to look to others for support or distraction. Or you may bake a pie, watch a tearful or funny movie, go shopping, or take a walk. All in an effort to avoid what ails you. It helps. But, the questions remains. Is it really a change in the weather?

What do you really want to consume you? Illness?  Love?  Your creativity? October ushers in Fall, a new season. With every new season, as with every day, comes an opportunity to become all that you want to become. To make important choices. To set goals. Coaching is a catalyst for change.

Who do you wish to become?

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Let it be said

All that happens in your life, all that you endure, and all that you surmount speaks volumes. The effects can be felt by those close to you. The rewards and ramifications bring learning and wisdom. This becomes who you are.  Let it be said that the book of you is being written.

With coaching, because it leads to introspection, you might decide to become proactive in the writing of your book.  You may decide to change certain themes, or change certain characters, or write new chapters. You may declare to become more. To declare means to announce formally, to state positively or emphatically, to reveal or name, to make a positive statement. There is power in a declaration.

Let it be said that you are the author, the character, the publisher, the critic, and the reader.  As you declare their place on the page, your essence revealed, a masterpiece evolves.

Please, let it be said.

Creating a phrase

Staying peaceful is a challenge, especially in the midst of a busy day.  Through coaching, tips from friends and family, and reading, one can cultivate methods to keep calm. Devising strategies, planning ahead, and speaking regularly with your coach are good ways to ensure your continual progress and success. Sometimes situations cause upset to calm no matter how proactive and in balance you are. Are you prepared for those times?

Reviewing past reactions demonstrate how you respond during trying times. Using new language, quips or comebacks might help. Or, creating a meaningful phrase that immediately causes a shift back to balance; Like a mantra-or a saying.

Schedule some time this week to 'create your phrase for peace.'  Discover that mantra or saying that gives you pause and helps you recognize your out of balance and need a shift. It can be anything, "I'm okay," "I can do this," "I am in charge,"  "Om," "The world is on my side as long as I am true to myself."  Use whatever relieves you and helps you regain calm.

Sharing phrases that work for you can be helpful too. Please share, in the comments, any phrase that keeps you calm and in balance.  Your wisdom may give someone a peaceful day.  

Self encouragement

Don't ever be discouraged. Not now, not ever.  Why? Because you are too important to waste your time in negativity. When you notice that uncomfortable feeling, call your coach, talk to a friend, or take a walk.

One of the reasons that coaching delivers, is because a coach always encourages.  A coach is positive and offers assurance, peace, and calm.  When those feelings arise, and a coach is not available, always remember that you are.  You can encourage yourself.  A few blogs ago I talked about the importance of having strategies in place for self care. Realize that when your down it's important not to stay there. Sure, sometimes a good cry or a day of feeling sorry for yourself serves a purpose, but it's not a solution.  For continued peace and calm, learning to be your own coach and best friend is a worthy goal.

This week, take some time to think about ways to encourage yourself.  Ask your coach, friends, neighbors, and family members how they stay positive and encouraged.  Then, put in place some internal language, visualizations, and affirmations that will help you during those difficult times.  In fact, using self encouragement on a daily basis will help you avoid feeling discouraged altogether.

Imagine facing all your days feeling calm and at peace.  Wow, how cool is that?

Try coaching

Coaching challenges, invites reflection, causes action, delivers support and caring, and initiates planning.  It's a great way to start the conversation about what in your life you need to address.  Your coach will listen in a confidential environment where you can feel free to talk openly and be yourself.  There is no judgement. Only support.  Does that sound inviting?

Coaching delivers. Whether you speak with a coach once, or for years, you will enjoy monumental  rewards. Coaching invites discourse, thought, and outcomes. What do you need to to discuss, think about, or complete?

The issues in your life like, not feeling well, having too much to do, a lack of money, issues with the family unit, lack of understanding, etc., are better solved with assistance.  You and your coach discuss the problems and think of ways to solve them by creating positive outcomes.  Does that sound useful?

I invite you to try coaching this week. Please contact me for a session. If I cannot assist you, you can be sure I know coach who can. I am available anytime at 740-424-9471 or, leave your contact info on my website, www.considercoachingnow.com. I look forward to speaking with you.

Upsets

There are so many things that distract us and leave us privy to mistakes. One of the biggest of these is an emotional upset. Could be a family issue, an issue at work, or a health issue.  The effect on concentration and ability can be extensive. When your distracted, you can lose important things like your credit card, or you can forget an important commitment. You might even find yourself in a precarious position.

Everybody is subject to upsets, and for those with a medical condition upsets can be even more devastating.   Knowing there are times when your coach, a friend, or a family member is not available to consult with, it's wise to have something in place that you know will serve you.

You may be best served by thinking of things that calm you, finding a place to rest and gain your composure, and/or making no decisions. When possible speak with your coach or another about ways to handle yourself during these times. This can make a huge difference in your well being. Being proactive is important and so very necessary.

May all your upsets turn in to great learning. Have a great week and sorry I was a day late in posting this week. I had an emotional upset.