Loss

"If we don't get lost, we'll never find a new route."
Joan Littlewood

In so many ways our lives are redirected. Events, people, circumstances, illness--all challenging our perspectives, ideas, values, and beliefs. We are stunned and feel lost.

When it's unfair, we cannot help but want an explanation -- a reason, so that we might explain to our psyche what it all means. When we understand there is no explanation, we ask, how can that be? There must be something we can do?

At this juncture, all we have is a blank page. All that's left is to overcome the grief and the loss. With our chins up and deep breaths we continue on by accepting. Perhaps it is good to consider the logic which purports that life is an illusion. Bad events aren't real. Or, maybe to just remember to talk about it and say, 'whatever gets you through the night is alright.' I remember my mother always said to me, "after a good night's rest, you will be okay, because with the rising of the sun comes a new day to begin again."

So, we just do that - we begin again and work to find a new way. As we stand up and use our voice to demand better, hopefully, we will find a peaceful route.

Stories

There are so many stories out there. Stories of hope, perseverance, humility, kindness, etc. Think about all the different emotions felt when listening to the stories of others. Did you ever stop to really think about the plight of another? To pretend as if you stand in their shoes?

Makes me consider the plight of the person in a wheel chair, the fire victim, the homeless man, the homeless woman, the cancer patient, the prisoner, the caretaker, the doctor, the soldier. All of them and all their stories.

I went to a Christmas party today. In the midst of all of those that mingled, I learned bits and pieces of stories. Some were grand, filled with hope and promise, some were rather bleak due to illness, but, all were indicative of a much bigger picture--a stage portraying the cycle of life, for some were old, some young, and some in the middle. The one thing in common, was the desire to tell their story, to communicate their thoughts, to be heard.

Then, I thought about how each of those stories weave together to form this life-this world. I remembered the movie, "How to Make an American Quilt." I watched it today before the Christmas party.

We cannot hear every story, or capture every meaning, but, we can take time to listen to one another's stories, if only to let each other be heard.

Which point of view

A recent conversation made me realize the value of listening to other points of view. You know, to decide if you want to challenge what is said, remain true to what you originally thought, or discard the view completely and decide on something new. It sparked contemplation.

Did you ever notice, though, a point of view that someone has on Tuesday is sometimes completely different on Wednesday? My observation has been that views change with the wind or better yet, with a different thought. For example, I was told that a blog about coaching becomes repetitive. How many ways can you discuss coaching? Well, shouldn't a website about coaching that has a blog at least mention coaching? Maybe yes, maybe no...

Sure, sometime on my blog I write about things seemingly unrelated to coaching. Like, yesterday I saw the movie, "Lincoln." I was in awe of every aspect of the show, from the cinematography to the acting. It was a testament to the ability of man and demonstrated the challenge that our democracy presents. How does it relate to coaching?

Everyday, whether via self-talk, or listening to others, we are being coached. We are making decisions, sometime unconsciously, as to what our view is on matters. Using Lincoln's style could prove very useful in developing a point a view about health, dealing with pain and suffering, and overseeing change. Consciously listening to what is being said, and either embracing it or discarding it is self coaching. At least, for today, this Sunday, that's my point of view.

The merry-go-round

Your in the exam room of your doctor's office awaiting his/her entrance. Your doctor of 5 plus years walks in and says, "hello and how have you been feeling?" You proceed to tell about your symptoms and how the last medication prescribed isn't working for you because of the side effects. A new prescription is written with the hope that the side effects will be less bothersome. It's the 2nd or maybe 3rd medication you tried in an effort to cope with the issue.

The merry-go-round of doctor's visits, prescription medications, side effects, and experimentation to feel okay -- to be okay. And, commercials on TV tell you about new drugs recently approved and on the market. The ads recommend you tell your doctor you might benefit from their use. So you keep trying new medications to feel better. In the back of your mind your wondering how all the chemicals are affecting your biology and psychology. What are the long term effects?

There are so many scenarios that reflect the layers of dis'ease' that are present and a result of illness. So  many reasons to step back and take a closer look at what is happening in the process. Can you deny that it is chipping away the rational mind?

There are many ways to heal. Talk to someone you trust, maybe your coach to examine your dis'ease.'  It could mean the difference between illness and well being.

Woe is me

Everyone dreads listening to the complaining friend or relative who is always sick. The "woe is me" speaker. It's tiresome especially if you don't feel well yourself. Sometimes you don't know what to say yet your realize people need to talk about what ails them. They need someone to listen because being sick is frightening and isolating.

Did you ever turn the other way in the grocery store to avoid someone so you wouldn't have to listen to the current ache of the cancer patient, or transplant recipient? Did you ever think to yourself, " I think there is something more than cancer wrong with that one!"

When you have a medical condition, you can be sure that there is dis'ease' in your thinking. That's why I discuss staying strong, focused, and in charge of your condition. That's why I recommend coaching. I don't want you to be avoided in the grocery store or anywhere else.









Coaching is so valuable with helping one stay empowered because it is a catalyst for planning and offering a different perspective.

Staying Empowered

Incorporating a health condition into your daily life is essential to function. Coaching is a great tool for planning your life around medication needs, doctors visits, changes in relationships, and the multitude of other  changes that are a result of the medical condition. Once you establish a routine, it's much easier to function and life becomes somewhat normal.

When I say normal, I don't mean that lightly. It's a 'new normal' for anyone who is dealing with changing health. It's worrisome, aggravating, and often scary to face the effects of a medical condition. Just when it seems fully justifiable to give up is when you MUST find a way to stay empowered. Questions worthy of your attention are: How am I going to cope with my condition? Who am I now that I am impaired? How do I see myself in 6 months, a year, 5 years? Am I going to take on this health challenge with grace and style?

There is nothing easy in it. But, the beauty of life lies in the knowledge that we have choices. To decide to stay empowered is an important one. What does that mean? Well, for instance, staying abreast of the most current medical data on your condition, following doctors orders and expanding them, testing your limits daily to encourage strength and stamina, keeping your support system on call, and creating a vision for your future.  
That's a start, and know, with all that to do, you won't have time to focus on the medical condition, instead, your focus will be on becoming the best you can be. Just take it a step at a time, a day at a time, and remember, a medical condition is just another aspect of you to embrace and mold.

Vote

We find out this week who wins the Presidency. It's exciting and important. No matter who wins, think about America and her staying power. Will she continue to be the shining beacon for the world? Campaigns bring out information that questions this. Will America continue to shine?  Does the next President really determine this?  And, if so, which one provides the most hope?

None of us know for sure the answer to the questions, we can only speculate. How nice it would be if, no matter who the winner is, we each made a conscious decision to support that person, for if we do, we champion our America. It is all about America.

I believe that America will continue to shine no matter who wins. She will. She must. Make sure to vote.